A Reminder

Hello, fans how are you? great! i don't care!! what I do care about is you becoming a fan and following our posts. Now this is whats wrong with our country you have all these freedoms and you don't utilize them! What is up with that shit!? Don't you love us? Don't you care? we have children to feed! well at least I do! but its cool be like that! i didn't want you to be a follower any way! you never cared mom! you just wanted to have your jack and coke and watch your soaps! MOM! its 3 in the afternoon shouldn't you be finding me a father!? No mom i don't want to sleep outside tonight! just because you have a new boyfriend doesn't mean you can beat me! Wow I'm sorry for that! i have a tendency to black out when I'm upset! NOW LOG ON, SIGN UP, COMMENT, BECOME A FOLLOWER, AND VEG OUT!

Sincerely your friends,

The Oreo Effect

The Real Oughle Truth

Girl your personality kicks ass. Unfortunately. Your ass? Does not.
That’s how most guys think. Girls this is your queue. If you want one of these men - and most men are like this, that prefer a skinny ‘bitch’ - then you have a choice. 1 Lose weight - take your fat ass to the gym handcuff your fat wrist to it and turn it up as much as you physically can. Or 2. Do nothing like you are doing now and remain fat and man-less like some dried up hag. You can also take your ass down to the nearest animal shelter and get yourself a bunch of cats because research shows people who are single lead happier lives when they have pets. By the way, by choosing to do nothing - this is also a decision. Choose carefully - because it will determine if for the rest of your life you become best friends with the dildo section of F St. Adult Video or the steak and beer section of your nearest grocery store. Because once you lose the weight a blowjob, a steak and a beer will go a looooooooong way. In man terms we call those women -'keepers.' We might even get you flowers - and not those piece of shit dead ass flowers but some alive ass looking, colorful, full of life, spring time flowers skinny bitches get from dumb guys you wish you had. I love you.

P.S - the percentage of men who like fat girls is very small - like their penises - that's why they only look at plumpchicks.com in the privacy of their home. They'd be embarrassed to actually be seen with one of these hippos in society. (It's true check their web browser history)

Yours truly,

~Mr. Ayhol~

Maybe The Problem Is You Have No Game?

I'm not talking about the game you have heard of where you can talk your way into a girl's panties. Not that game. I mean everyday connecting on some 'other than horny' level game with women. Talking about shit they like to talk about. Shit like relationships. I can't get a woman to shut the fuck up once I 'open' up about my previous relationship. All I have to say is 'I wish my ex-girlfriend the best but I don't want to repeat that ever again - women are all the same.' I promise you - she will not shut the fuck up until you look at that blonde with the big boobs walking across the coffee shop. One thing at a time soldier. Concentrate on the girl at hand. Guys want a girl they can talk to about their interests. How arrogant is this? Why don't you stop being a pussy, yeah, ironically, stop being a pussy and talk about shit she likes? Family n shit. What kind of diamonds she likes... is she more of a princess or a round? white or yellow gold? Girls have put some serious thought into this shit. Any girl who says she hasn't is lying. But, instead... what do you wanna talk about? The football game, cars, beer - and you want a woman to relate to you on that level? No fucker, get your head out of your ass - this isn't your buddy, this is your potential pot for you to plant your seeds on. It hurts me to see men without game. Here is a cheat sheet - tell her she looks great - even if she doesn't. Ask her where she shops and how much she spends regularly - the answers is too much but not enough. White lies never hurt nobody well except native americans, and blacks. blah - semantics. you know what I mean. Ask her how her day was. Let her talk to you - just lead her. Look in her eyes. Smile once in a while. 'Open up' to her. Okay that last one is hard. BUT you know what I've done? Opened up about shit that never happened. I make shit up as I go along sometimes - never knowing where my story will end. My message is this - fellas - cater to the pussy. Then marry the pussy and love the pussy and you'll never be pussy-less ever again. I love you.

~Mr. Ayhol~

People whom have standards but really really shouldn't.....

I see a lot of people on social networks and personal ads and where ever else people post there neediness to the world. I am talking about people who are looking for a significant other through these electronic means. These folks who have these standards that are just obsured! Like I need this with that and he has to have this and none of that and definitly has to be hott! Now this is ridiculous, I remember when internet dating was a fucking joke! You were either heavily obese or horrifically ugly and that's why you had to resort to the internet to find your dream guy with out being aressted on site for disturbing the peace. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you can't find a man because you set these unimaginable goals for your guys that you meet? Its not enough that he has a great paying job he has to have great looks too? Listen great looking wealthy people don't have time for you independent picky bitches. That's why you see them with the dumb barbie broad and not you! Because the dumb chick ain't gonna complain he doesn't spend enough time with them or they don't say enough nice things as long as they got the credit card they cradle the balls and swallow the nut! You picky broads on the other hand created the idea of independent because its a nicer more elegant way of saying I'm alone as fuck and eventually going to be in my 40s when I find the man of my dreams and to late to have children. Unless of course you have an indestructible vagina. I just got say that these standards are crazy. If you want a man to love you and take care of you than let him do just that because trying to force anyone into something will always result in a negative outcome. Stop being bitches and start being just plain ol' beautiful women and we will come to you like retarded dogs looking for food and something to hump.

~C. Myers~

INTRODUCING! R. Brown

After spending 19 years as Jewish-catholic nun, R. Brown decided to call it quits, and pursued a career in the porn industry but not as a porn star, but as financial advisor to “Brown Sugar”. She also owns three small companies based in India were she exploits small children for her benefit and Nike’s too. After a financial disaster (investing in abandoned buildings) and secret love affair with a person that shall not be named (tiger woods) she decided to become a journalist for CNN, later to be fired for smuggling heroine in her ass. That’s when The Oreo Effect approached her with a position and not one on her back either! (which trust us we tried! After three 12 packs of steel reserve, 7 roofies, 12 hits of X, and a stun gun to the tit! We finally just gave the fuck up). We sent her on a mission to uncover the woman’s perspective of how the world is perceived, but who knows what this gang of jackals and jackass’ are up to next

Fairytales, and Make Believe:

Hi my name is reality, and this is my friend gravity and we welcome back to earth! I must say ladies that as a man I’m not happy about these stories you wrap yourself up in. your probably wondering what stories I so speak of? Stories like the Notebook, the Last Song, and all the movies like that, that give guys a persona we can’t fit into. Honestly to come straight from the hip, I’m fairly nice and genuine guy but I’m not going to lie to you either, I’m not going to fill your head with bullshit. These guys in these movies are so in love with you that even though you’re being a selfish bitch you don’t see how much he cares about you until the end and then role credits and then here comes the tears! You look for us in reality and realize we are not that and you become disappointed with us! Now did you ever stop to think maybe why we don’t pursue you like them is because you ain’t as dope as Rachel McAdams, or whoever the hell is the lead broad in these movies? See I’m a Romeo kind of guy I will kill for you and go to extreme measures for you, and to much of your surprise I’m sure, most guys are as well. There is just one other kind of guy in this category and he wont give you that much thought. Once the idea of having to work for your love pops in his mind he is gone like a $2 hooker! Now I’m not saying don’t have faith in us, just don’t expect us to be your fairytale dream. $20 says your mom doesn’t think your pops is a god but I guarantee you she loves the fuck out the guy for some quality he posses. We need to bring back the tough guy era again, these emo children are making it difficult for guys who rely on muscles and actual intelligence to thrive in the hunt for woman. Not all of us can write out our emotions or cry on command, but a lot of us will love you probably twice as good and not steal your eyeliner in the process. I grew up watching genius movies, like Rocky (it won best picture in 1976, the Notebook did what year? Wait it didn’t win shit!) He fought the heavyweight champion of the world, got the shit kicked out of him all to prove to Adrian that he was somebody! Romeo & Juliet is genius, and so is Shakespeare, and Nicolas sparks can blow me like a birthday cake. My advice to ladies is, remember we are guys, simple minded, and predictable so the next time you complain you fell for the same guy, open your eyes and realize your in the real world not in Forks, Washington I’m not Edward Cullen, and this is not a fairytale, I’m sorry if I upset you but it had to be done!

~C. Myers~

The Rebuttal!

Mind games - Mind fucks whatever!
Some people are predictable some aren't you can't just put them into categories like I love when girls think a guy is so sweet for holding her purse while she shops or tries stuff on -that is a good man? Ha right bitch he is either pussy whipped and your taking advantage of that annoying shit or a pervert tryna get a glimpse at the chick in the mini skirt in the fitting room next to yours! Everyone hints guys included! I say man up or shut up but your trying to tell me men don't have a hint system? Right... this may not cover all men but the ones who need to take the skirt off absolutely! That is all they work off of to test the waters when their girls got their jimmies in a vice. Like for example "Chip hit me up, said all the guys are getting together for the fight and having some beers later" THAT would be a hint hoping for the girl to respond with "Aw you should go" instead of being a man that "says what he wants or does what he wants" Women are incredibly difficult? Not cool bruh. Besides if we weren't you wouldn't want us. Easy would be boring as fuck and you'd be "on to tha next one" so quit your bitching and take the tampon out. Yes, you are supposed to remember something we pointed out! Especially if it was everyday for a whole year cuz when you don't the only thing were thinking is 1. dude doesn't give a shit or 2. are you brain dead? Anyway about the whole getting ready thing if your together and living under the same roof you should just be showering together period. Times are tough man got to conserve the aqua. Men are not all the same but I do believe there are 3 types of guys. Ones that try too hard, ones that don't try hard enough and Mr. Chill... no explanation needed. Gross every time I think about a guy wearing Ed Hardy now I think of that nasty weirdo Jon Gosselin... Totally ruins it for me. Someone should kidnap him. BMatt didn't you ever hear of taking one for the team! haha Isn't that some where in the wingman ethic guide? Poor Wunluv. I woulda banged her out for ya!

~R. Brown~