Fairytales, and Make Believe:

Hi my name is reality, and this is my friend gravity and we welcome back to earth! I must say ladies that as a man I’m not happy about these stories you wrap yourself up in. your probably wondering what stories I so speak of? Stories like the Notebook, the Last Song, and all the movies like that, that give guys a persona we can’t fit into. Honestly to come straight from the hip, I’m fairly nice and genuine guy but I’m not going to lie to you either, I’m not going to fill your head with bullshit. These guys in these movies are so in love with you that even though you’re being a selfish bitch you don’t see how much he cares about you until the end and then role credits and then here comes the tears! You look for us in reality and realize we are not that and you become disappointed with us! Now did you ever stop to think maybe why we don’t pursue you like them is because you ain’t as dope as Rachel McAdams, or whoever the hell is the lead broad in these movies? See I’m a Romeo kind of guy I will kill for you and go to extreme measures for you, and to much of your surprise I’m sure, most guys are as well. There is just one other kind of guy in this category and he wont give you that much thought. Once the idea of having to work for your love pops in his mind he is gone like a $2 hooker! Now I’m not saying don’t have faith in us, just don’t expect us to be your fairytale dream. $20 says your mom doesn’t think your pops is a god but I guarantee you she loves the fuck out the guy for some quality he posses. We need to bring back the tough guy era again, these emo children are making it difficult for guys who rely on muscles and actual intelligence to thrive in the hunt for woman. Not all of us can write out our emotions or cry on command, but a lot of us will love you probably twice as good and not steal your eyeliner in the process. I grew up watching genius movies, like Rocky (it won best picture in 1976, the Notebook did what year? Wait it didn’t win shit!) He fought the heavyweight champion of the world, got the shit kicked out of him all to prove to Adrian that he was somebody! Romeo & Juliet is genius, and so is Shakespeare, and Nicolas sparks can blow me like a birthday cake. My advice to ladies is, remember we are guys, simple minded, and predictable so the next time you complain you fell for the same guy, open your eyes and realize your in the real world not in Forks, Washington I’m not Edward Cullen, and this is not a fairytale, I’m sorry if I upset you but it had to be done!

~C. Myers~